The terminology here clearly has its pitfalls: while the English word networking still sounds fairly neutral, German terms such as "relationships"/relationship management or maintaining contacts are often associated with negative evaluations and perceptions. In my view, networking should be open to "everyone" who is prepared to fulfill the conditions - "give and take" and "genuine interest in others".

A give and take

Resilient networks are not created overnight. Building up contacts, loyalty and respect takes time. They don't develop on their own, but need to be carefully designed and maintained. The principle is: "Build first, monetize later".

A good network functions on the basis of a lively "give and take"; in the beginning, even more "giving" is necessary. This is because a resilient network requires genuine interest in others, as well as a willingness to engage in mutual exchange. In addition, there must be a conviction that it is worth investing in relationships.

The basis for this, in turn, is the development of a pronounced "relationship intelligence".

You shouldn't bend yourself (too much) when making really reliable contacts. You can't be "everybody's darling"; if you try, you lose profile and run the risk of becoming uninteresting to the people who matter.

Prerequisites for successful networking

A very important prerequisite for successful networking is adapting your own mind-set: "It's work - just different"! And of course you have to "establish" relationships; you have to find occasions to communicate with someone. Experience shows that you need at least two to three contacts before people remember you.

Before you go out networking, you need to do a critical "cash check" of your own network. This means analyzing and interpreting your existing network, not sitting in a comfortable corner and relying on relationships that are too similar or not challenging.

But networking also has an operational side: without a professional structure, you can quickly lose track of a network with 50, 100 or even several hundred contacts - you need a suitable database in which the various networks and their members can be segmented and which, of course, needs to be constantly updated.

For example, if you make various new contacts at a conference, it is important to record the information you receive in a structured way so that you can follow up on it afterwards.

Can you learn networking?

Aspects and elements of networking often come up in coaching projects; not everything can be "learned", but you can review and adapt your attitude to it, for example with regard to the allocation of time (networking is also work, only "different") and to the classification as a professional and ethically and morally consistent approach.

Preparation or planning can also be done easily, for example in terms of which contacts I want to have, where I stand ("cash check") and where and how I plan to establish new contacts, for example planning events to get in touch with someone or deepen a relationship.

However, the prerequisite for building and expanding a resilient network is and remains an unbent and authentic personality - more "with an edge" than adapted and interchangeable - and a genuine interest in others with a willingness to "give and take".

The author

Dr. Holger Karsten is Senior Partner of Leadership Choices. © Ben Gierig - Photography

Dr. Holger Karsten is Senior Partner of Leadership Choices, a management consultancy in Wiesbaden specializing in all aspects of leadership development. As an executive coach, he supports his clients in areas such as onboarding, career realignment, all kinds of leadership issues, team development, for example in the event of conflicts, new direction or strategic dissent, as well as in the design and implementation of leadership programs at company level.